Every Screw is Sacred Song
By Tim Fyock June 16, 2003

To my brother Jon, who has buckets, cans, plastic containers, shelves, drawers, boxes, and rooms of screws, bolts, and other fasteners. I have yet to see one used.
If you have a loved one (or used to be loved) who just cannot stop, please change the name and sing  this song.

Based on: The Meaning Of Life
"Every Sperm is Sacred"
by the Monty Python Team

There are screws in the world.
There are Bolts.
There are Hinges and Mollybolts, and then
There are those that use screws, but
I've never used one of them.

I'm a screw saver,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about screws is:
You can never have enough of them.
Screws don't have to be clean or shiny.
They don't have to be perfect.
They don't have to have any good threads. You're
stored away the moment Jon touches you,

Because

Every screw is sacred.
Every screw is great.
If a screw is wasted,
Jon gets quite irate.

Every screw is sacred.
Every screw is great.
If a screw is wasted,
Jon gets quite irate.

Let the heathen spill screws
On the dusty ground.
Jon shall make them pay for
Each screw that can't be found.

Every screw is wanted.
Every screw is good.
Every screw is needed
In your neighbourhood.




Wasteful people just
Spill old screws just anywhere,
But Jon loves those who treat their
Screws with more care.

Every screw is sacred.
Every screw is great.
If a screw is wasted,
Jon gets quite irate.

Every screw is sacred.
Every screw is good.
Every screw is needed
In your neighbourhood!

Every screw is useful.
Every screw is fine.
Jon needs everybody's screws.
Mine! And mine! And mine!

Let the Pagan spill screws
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.
Jon shall scream them down for
Each screw that's spilt in vain.

Every screw is sacred.
Every screw is good.
Every screw is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Every screw is sacred.
Every screw is great.
If a screw is wasted,
Jon gets quite iraaaaate!